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NEW ALBUM, RELEASED: SEPTEMBER 2020
"I’ve pulled together songs from personal inner struggles to try and empathise and help people through – that's this album.”
LYRICS BELOW
to the VIDEOS of the album
1: YOU DONT SAY
Paul Avrom Toshner
Eb F# Bb
I want to love you
But the truth is in the way
the truth gets in the way
You want to love you
That's what I want to say
That's what I want to say
Call me any time you please
But don't expect me there
Why do you want to find me
I know you know I know
you don’t care
I was sure that I could
live without your smile
The truth is that I’ve been finished
for with you for quite a while
Yet it seems like just a moment away
That it all could be ok
That's my punishment for
Turning what I’d say
Returning what you say
For finding out a way
From whatever I don't say
What has love become
It’s being willing to die for someone
That you yourself want to kill anyway
Usually For whatever U don’t say
12345678 all the children want to get away
into government/politics
2. AN AMERICAN STAR (sympathy for the journalist)
Paul Avrom Toshner
F Dm
F Dm Bb Gm
Ab Fm Db Dbm
Bb Gm Eb Ebm
C Am F Fm
Db Db/Bb F# F#m
- “Hello I’ve come to do an interview on you
I hope that’s alright”
I had a job at a local rag
citing everything she’d say
I fell in love before we met
which for a journalist never pays
So when the day came along in a restaurant
And I heaped upon her praise
she coldly asked me what I want
I said "tell me ‘bout the early days"
She said - (sigh);
my mother would never leave without
her favourite fender strat
she rushed us both to the hospital
in my fathers old black cat
I was born at the side of the road
my friend and that was that
- "well tell me where did you grow up"
(Sigh) Yes I did “grow up!” and in a neighbourhood
where emotion is not revealed
maybe years have passed, I think you've guessed,
still I have not healed
But I would borrow my mothers strat
and sneak out to a club in “the old black cat” x 2
Born - how!? In an Englishman’s car
With a mothers guitar
An American star is born
down, where the tears do not cry
But a voice in her eyes.
And accompanying sighs are born...
Then she said something really quite strange and I saw it in her eyes
“I don’t believe in journalists, they ruin so many lives”
I said “I’m sorry, it’s an age old fight
But I don’t take no liberties because of my rights” x 2
1. F 4. Bb Born – down, in an Englishman’s car
With a mothers guitar
An American star is born
2. F 5. C Down, where the tears do not cry
and a voice in her eyes.
And accompanying sighs are born
3. Ab 6. Db Now in the land of the free
As she wants it to be
But she’d rather believe in me
- “ well thanks very much, bye!
- “It's a free land, it's a price you pay"
The journalist is “just doing his job” which is to serve a two edged sword:
making the star “canonised” as a superstar, and seeking to reveal they are “just human”.
3. GENTLE WORDS
Paul Avrom Toshner
I sam Nachmonidies, he was talking to Miamonodies about “How come this terrible music’s being made, . and why is that, . and how come it gets bought....”
“The Rambam said – it’s because there’s... two market places out there!”
hmmmm dad dum da dum oh oh
There’s a market for it because There’s people out there without a heart, and there’s people out there with a heart.
It’s not entirely true, more true is there’s a lot of people who keep their heart a secret. And sometimes it becomes ......a secret from themselves.
The only way I know how to tell the truth is through Gemara and art, but the new chemistry is marketing - The Ram baN said - and he did’nt like to be sold philosiphy - “you better not read this or you might get to near a climax of reality” he said in an American accent to the Miamonidies as he gave him a look in his Gemara, just after he compared New York to Isreal due to it’s finger snap style of living.
“Gentle words are the harshest” – “a secret from themselves”
4. HEY YOU
Paul Avrom Toshner
F Bb/G F/A Bb
I’m sorry that I came
around and yelled at you
without a sound
From the dark to the dark
My journey it seems
Wherefore art thou
in my dreams
When will you see me
Where are you now
My future is darker somehow
I’m sorry that I came
around and yelled at you
without a sound, hey you
What did you speak of
What was at stake
Reality, duality
My friend you’re a fake
What can be borne
when it’s torn!?
Even harder to mourn
impossible to hold
breaking the mould
Excuse me my rhyme
It’s how I now spend my time
I’m sure I’d feel a bit better
If I could refine
I’m sorry that I came
around and yelled at you
without a sound, hey you
The future’s unknown
But it prays on my mind
if it’s the present I own
What’s the closing line
Lifting things
we can not carry
Diamonds and rings
do not always marry
I’m sorry that I came
around and yelled at you
without a sound, hey you
5. TO NONE OTHER THAN ME
Paul Avrom Toshner
Am Dm
Here’s a little song
“to none other than me”
Not scared of man;
not scared to be himself
I hear the train in the distance
The world has gone quietly mad
It’s one thirty in the morning
things have never been quite so bad
I feel the hair on the back of my neck
the blood gone from my cheeks
I fear the abyss
I didn’t expect this
The errors I made
Are being seriously paid
I went beyond to admit
So as to excuse all of it
Years of devotion
to none other than me
now I am a prisoner
To none other than me
No reason to lie, no reason to see
the Lord He is good
He wants you to be
Not scared of man
not scared to be himself
I have who to blame
confused by their game
I may even be wrong
But that’s me singing their song
This time it’s through
what must I do
I hope G-d will forgive me
I hope I forgive me too
What a fool I have been
Time and again I think I win
That wherever I am
I think perhaps I can
Scared of man:
scared to be himself
No reason to lie, no reason to see
the Lord He is good
He wants you to be
Not scared of man
not scared to be himself
Sorry, I love you
but you have your issues
so much so what you do
selling hope
strung together with tissues
Hard to live up to
harder to swallow
easily choked on
left feeling hollow
But blame, is a thing of the past
I own my own mess
Like I said at the start
I have what to confess
Too scared of man:
too scared to be himself
No reason to lie, no reason to see
the Lord He is good
He wants you to be
Not scared of man
not scared to be himself
So if you think you're in a hole
or under duress
What will happen now
It’s anyone’s guess
Just don’t creep around in disguise
more and more lies
Till' you can safely say:
That you rue the day
"Perhaps I will change
Though probably not
G-d help me to care
If that’s what I forgot.
I got scared of man
I got scared of myself"
No reason to lie, no reason to see
the Lord He is good
He wants you to be
Not scared of man
not scared to be yourself
6. BURNED
Paul Avrom Toshner
Dd F F#
Take me away for days on end
take me out of myself
Take me away I pray this will end
can’t say I’m myself
Nothing I’ve told you was written down,
still doesn’t mean I’ve come around
I’m still the same as I used to be,
If I could only hear your hope and faith in me
it makes me try,
but then I don’t know why,
I’d say I do
Oh, I’m sure it pleases you
hold me closer to your ideal
tell me how it feels
hold me closer, hi, so hi...
and then we say goodbye.
When things get a little tight
I never said I could should
I never said I should
I only said I would
tell you “let me go away”
tell me you’d rather I stay
One more try, one more faith
one more heart in it, one more gate
one more lesson in what I always learn
stand apart and get burned
If numbers are what are strong
Bo you belong, heart beats!?
Doubt reins hi when tears fall for nothing
7. A MATTER OF TIME
Paul Avrom Toshner
Seems kind of odd
maybe I could blame G-d
but I know that’s not true
the only one I can blame is me
It’s so...
you’re so....
his soul...only a matter of time
his soul
his soul....only a matter of time
to never look back
rise above
don’t cry for pain
only love
I’m so tired coz I’m so weak
time to sleep to find my feet
I know... You see the world
that’s through my eyes
You know when I was weak
It’s only a matter of time ....
what I want to say sorry for
for what I am today
carefully chosen, and silently broken,
and all of the time, I ignored that it’s open for interpretation
it’s open to be
I’m hoping to be
it’s open to me
It’s only a matter of time
It’s so only a matter of time
It’s so only a matter of time
8. THE WAITING LEAVES
Paul Avrom Toshner
And the moment’s gone
and the moments go
and things you believe
even the things you know
and the feelings come
and the feelings stay
it’s just the way it goes every day
and the feeling grows
for the love u know
and the waiting leaves
in the wind they blow
and the waitingleaves
in the wind it blows
and the waiting leaves
in the wind it blows
everybody knows
everybody knows
Sorry for not being what u need
the most
Sorry not for being what you see
when you toast
sorry for the times I yelled
even though it was only once
sorry for how I made you feel
always and forever
Sorry that we never forgot
Sorry that we never forgot
stay with me
sing with me
and the moment’s gone
moments go
the things you believe
and the things you know
and the feelings come
and the feelings stay
and the feeling grows
I love you
and the waiting leaves
and the waiting leaves
and the waiting leaves
and the wedding leaves
everybody knows
Sorry for not being what u need
when you needed the most
Sorry not for being what you say
when you raise a toast
sorry for the times I yelled
even though it was only once
always and forever
Sorry that I never thought
Sorry that we never forgot
9. IS SOMETHING FREE
Paul Avrom Toshner
Love will always be true
sorry, what I’m doing to you
To sum it up
what we had can not b
something free
not programmed
can u hear me
do u believe me
did I show u
are u near me
are you uneasy
stare into silence and know
if the person your with
is the person your with
stare into silence or go
is the person your with
the person your with
Love will always only be true
I’m sorry for what
I must be doing to you
To sum it up
what can not be:
is something free!
is something free?
is something, free!?
10. AN ARTIST - prologue
Paul Avrom Toshner
Cm/C-/B-/Bb Gm Fm G x: C
Caug Gaug/B C Fm/Eb C Fm - G - C x 2
Eb Bb
An artist has to make some room
in everything he seems
taking that the higher lines are free
In the middle of the noise on a crowded day
I can hear myself and you know I want to say something
If an artist has to make some room
in everything he seams
tell me are the higher lines free
so we sang together,
we sang together, we sang alone
How it feels to be seen and known
For what you have, and what you let go, and let show
But how it feels to be dreaming though
Everything really quite sad
If you’re not glad for what you have
If an artist has to make some room
in everything he seams
tell me are the higher lines free
so we sang together,
we sang together, we sang alone
Finally letting go,
finally sitting down,
finally what I know
laughing a clown in town
He doesn’t care
about the critical,
it’s too political,
or any cynical, lyrical visible
melody
He cares about the sense of it,
He’s into the defence of it,
but not with violence, or silence,
is he free
he doesn’t care about the surreptitious,
he’s into helping you get rid of the delicious,
junkie and monkey on your back
so we sang together,
we sang together, we sang alone
If an artist has to make some room
in everything he seams
tell me are the higher lines really free
11. THE VISITORS
Paul Avrom Toshner
Bb Dm Eb
What brings you to these parts my friend
Is their something you’ve lost
Has the wind been strong
Did you not belong
Was the ground awash with frost
Come in I say
Warm those feet of clay
We’re not all Vincent Van Gogh
Its been foretold
That a colour less sold
(a colourless soul)
or the not so bolden rainbow
Gets to re-engage
Even centre stage
And somehow comes to pass
Or at very lease
doth find some peace
in what’s left of his ass
People die
things do change
if this is goodbye
it’s not so strange
not so strange at all
In the summer
my father comes south
to visit the visitors
in the visitors windows
12. HEY AH!
Paul Avrom Toshner
(Chords in B part Paul Taylor)
E F#m x2
C# m B A A
Hey, ahhh!
Life was full of choices
Now my head is full of voices
Things are what they are
Accepting it is hard
If I could change I would
What I want is good
Oh but how I’d undo
I’m talking to me not you
Hey, ahhh!
To upturn the very essence
The requirement is effervescence
Oh what will give me this
must I persist
But failure is not fear
if it’s the only way to travel
If you know the why
The how is easy
Hey, ahhh!
do, not try
or only stop if your feeling queasy
Life was full of choices
Now my head is full of voices
Things are what they are
Accepting it is hard
If I could change I would
What I want is good
Oh but how I’d undo
I’m talking to me not you
Hey, ahhh!
But failure is not fear
if it’s the only way to travel
If you know the why
The how is easy
The journeys always here
If it’s a riddle to unravel
If you know the why
The how may be easy
If you know the why
The how may be easy
But do, not try
or only stop if your feeling queasy
Hey, ahhh!
12. FAREWELL TO A FEELING
Paul Avrom Toshner
This is a farewell to a feeling
This is a farewell to the moment
this is goodbye for now
I’m afraid that’s how it’s got to be
I did now sail well
I did feel the wind
I didn’t care
if I loose or win
but soon I have to face
what’s waiting for me
and I really don’t want to go at all
This is farewell to a feeling
This is farewell to a moment
this is goodbye for now
I’m afraid that’s how it’s got to be
Theirs is only one place for me
as far as I can see
what will be
I’d like to be
but doesn’t seem .... yet
and I find myself elsewhere,
“all is fair in love and war”
This is farewell to a feeling
This is farewell to the moment
this is goodbye for now
I’m afraid that’s how it’s got to be
14. PAPER GUN
Paul Avrom Toshner & Mesoud Benasully
G F C G
C Dm Dm C
C Dm - G Dm - G C
D Em Em D
D Em - A Em - A D
E Em Em E
E F#m - B F#m - B E
“There’s something needs to be done.
It's like something in you that says I need to do this.
And if I don't do anything else I know that I know that I know that I have to do this!”
Mesoud Benasully
...when someone has wronged you
that is their problem
but that it happened to you is your problem
that it happened to you is yours...
where have men been,
what have they become
Gun, paper gun paper gun
Gun, paper gun paper gone
soon they’ll be seeing the light
in fact I certainly hope
we should be enjoying this
together on the other side
Probably you prefer that I told you that I
want to buy you pizza than I tell you I love you
then again depends on weather you have
an allergy to cheeze but nowadays you
can get tofu, tofu is an alternative to cheese
forget it, forget it, give up, don't do it,
don't do it to yourself, don't do it to your family
it's ok, good to love, good to look at other people,
but you must understand yourself
ok, teach me how to eat sushi
...you don't have chopsticks
what is normal, we all ask that question
the funny thing is being unusual nowadays is so bloody
normal that nobody really notices if you are unusual or not
in fact being normal is much more unusual than being unusual
The synergy is what counts
where in lies the reality
how fickle we are, how tempted to the unknown
the gender makes no difference
Singing a song, loving me, loving you back...
that’s what I'm thinking about
...nobody is going to change that
I'm talking about everybody’s coping about the same thing.
G-d bless you
hello Mr Appelbaum, I wonder whether or not
you'd like to come round and tell a story...
Of course you need to understand
that we are working on a masterpiece...
when action is replaced with emotion
instead of going to do something silly
get it out on paper
then perhaps you'll calm down later
or maybe not it depends how much
or how little self restraint you've got
Hope you are well, that's all I am saying
have a wonderful evening and whatever it is
you're not doing, don't do it for long
because if you don't do it what you're not doing
who knows what you'll end up doing
coz truth be told I am more bold
where you can not outrun
your hate, from love
that you thought so little of
as you laughed...at my paper gun
“I think every person at one point in their lives
they had this strong feeling that they have to do something
about a situation, maybe they were raised in a way that they shouldn't,
I'm saying...something must be done”
Mesoud Benasully
Like a social misfit
you play the scene
“there’s good and bad in everyone”
so you think you’ll come out clean
well I wont give you the pleasure
from me you wont get a rise.
Anyway you’re blissfully un-aware
of why you should be so despised
“never rub another mans rhubarb”
always good advice
like "an eye for an eye
a tooth for a tooth"
there’s a price
so avert your gaze and a little less praise
yes avert your gaze and a little less praise
when temptation fires your ego.
you’ll notice in time
you’re not paying the fine
“Im all right jack” doesn’t cover the legal
but I am your enemy my friend
and until the bitter end
you are the reason
for my mindful treason
It's broken so what’s to mend!?
In hot and bloody cool disdain
you’ve justified most every lie
moriality can feign
the end was over before the war begun
when I left you weaving your only fun
twas pen and paper that used to be
my field of no retreat
but now I'm doing all I can
that we should never meet
Gun, paper gun paper gun
Gun, paper gum paper gone
Gun, paper gun paper gone
soon they’ll be seeing the light
“It's like one of those people that they need to climb Mt Everest
and it requires years of training and then facing the unknown up there
and so many people they have tried and they have failed
and some people even have lost their lives lo alianeo
I don't have more words to conti....”
Mesoud Benasully